Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Lies, Lies, Lies YEAH!

In light of the recent James Frey debacle, this blog is being repurposed in a vein that sychronizes nicely with its title. The goal of this blog from here on out will be to ferret out lies brazenly made in public and then critique their merit as lies.

Please note: Outside of politics and romantic relationships, I place no value on the truth. I may even be fibbing a bit on the second count. Nevertheless, it's clear that lies play an important role in our society. We need to understand lies, how they work and don't work if we are to become effective liars ourselves. I myself learned to lie on the day I was baptized. My mother had forgotten to get that bit of business taken care of until I reached the ripe old age of four. As she dressed me for the ceremony, she told me, "Now don't tell Gramma about today."

My poor Gramma Mary was Calabrese and she believed that children who died unbaptized were doomed to roam the Earth as malicious southern-Italian leprechauns. If she'd known that my mother put me at this particular risk for four years, she would have gone apeshit.

I didn't know this at the time, so I said to my Mom, "Not even if she asks?"

My Mom said, "Not even if she asks."

"Wouldn't that be a lie?"

Mom said, "Sometimes it's better to lie."

Truer words were never said. But the important thing is to lie well. It is in the spirit of improving the lies we tell through scrutiny that I rechristen this blog. Through this blog we will praise the good lies and ridicule the bad. In this fashion our society will strengthen.

1 comment:

opinions are like orifices said...

I'll be sure to think up some doozies then, funny man.

Evaluate this one: It's HUGE!